07/25/07
Killer new beats are being prepared for torture. We are so fucking excited to be playing shows with all the c.a.b. dudes in tow! 8 total! Shocking carnality! These shows are going to sound mammoth.

There are a bunch of killer bands we're playing with that we're super psyched on. Check the tour page for updates. There will also be a ton of new shirts and other nonsense for your fat, grubby, southern bodies. I've been in NYC so long, that I may have gotten the orders all fucked up and not ordered enough XXXXXXXL sizes. I forget that everyone down there is fucking obese. Do me (and yourselves) a favor: stop eating shit all the time, and go to gym. You people are grossing me out.

07/08/07
We are going on tour in October. Get ready to die.

01/16/07
The Dark Funeral / Enslaved show in NYC last week was pretty good. Well, it all looked and sounded okay except for one glaring problem: wedding rings. If you're going to play the whole "we're evil as hell" part by painting your face in corpse flair and wearing killer "army of the damned" costumes, you might want to go ahead and go all out by removing the wedding bands.

I guess updating this site once a year should about do the trick, right? We're still here.

12/15/05
It has come to our attention that our mailorder has been TOTALLY fucked up. It's our fault, and we apologize profusely. If you ordered some shit kind of recently, and haven't gotten it yet, please send us an email, and we'll settle any problems. And just so everyone knows: we have nothing wearable available right now. No shirts, no shoes, no sweatshirts. Apparently, we offer no service, either.

4/26/05
New rules in rock: NO ONE* is allowed to wear shorts on stage during a show ever again. Especially if you are fat. This goes for EVERY band out there, including us. It looks almost as bad as wearing your own band's shirt while playing. If you think you can get away with it, picture Lars Ulrich with your face superimposed. You look that bad.

*Dale Crover excluded.

4/12/05
Q: What's the hardest thing about learing how to rollerblade?
A: Telling your parents you are gay.

2/04/05
We need to get in touch with Josh. You made an order and we need your address. Get in touch at whatswrongwithyo@hotmail.com.

Cream Abdul Babar is on myspace.com. Add us to your friends list. If you're reading this, you're definitely bored enough to be on myspace.com. Dorks.

1/26/05
Princess Leia here, contacting you fine readers on behalf of the band. I just found these assholes, and they're all frozen in carbonite. I'm working on thawing them out right now, but there are so many of these motherfuckers, it's a bit of an undertaking. Anyways, by the time they're thawed and their vision returns, they'll start practicing the new songs I wrote for them. They've also got a show lined up in March with Lamb of God. The guys aren't dead, so please stop emailing them asking about their whereabouts. Thank you.

Also, the band is all out of t-shirts, hoodies, hats, and all other wearable items. They got plenty of cd's and records, though. Order away, cenobites.

11/15/04
It is a happy day for America. Danny is getting married to Sandra. We had his bachelor party this past weekend and it ruled. Everyone used the word 'party' as a verb. A total club experience. Stay tuned to Drinking Stiff for photo updates. Dirty pussy rubbed raw on flaming queens is all the rage in Tallahassee these days. Send Danny an email to show him your love. Send him gifts to prove your love. Shake your love, I just can't shake your love.

11/03/04
It is a sad day for America. Thanks to uneducated, gullible and a very bigoted majority of American voters and their choices, the whole-wide world can look forward to a minimum of 4 more years of imperialism, pre-emptive strikes, wars, weakened civil rights, weakened environmental laws, homophobia, etc. Oh, and the Supreme Courts justices that will be appointed in this next presidential term could affect these same issues for 40+ more years. If you voted against Bush, thank you.

If you voted for Bush, EAT SHIT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. You make us sick.

10/29/04
Cream is officially old as fuck. We've been together 10 years this Halloween. Buy us drugs to celebrate.

Hope you are all going to see the Blood Brothers on this latest tour for "Crimes", arguably their best record yet. They played Atlanta last night and damn if they aren't the best live band out there right now. Those skinny queens tear shit up big time. Freddie Mercury would be proud - his legacy clearly has been handed down to the kids. Fuckin-A!!

9/24/04
New shit alert!

The brand new "Covering the Track Marks" 6 song CD e.p. is in our merch bin as of last week. You can get it from us or from the label or from the distro . It features covers of the Jesus Lizard, Ministry, Helmet, PJ Harvey, Mira & a special bonus track. Embrace your roots. The killer artwork is courtesy of Brent Eyestone (Magic Bullet Records, Forensics).

Also, we have a limited amount of CREAM ABDUL BABAR HOODIES!! They are BLACK, heavyweight hoodies with the 3 skulls logo. We are taking orders for these bad boys NOW. They are limited and hot shit, so act FAST! Email us if you want one.

9/19/04
Is everyone reading this listening to Asschapel's "Fire and Destruction" LP? If you don't have that fine ass album, you lose. You lose fucking bad.

9/15/04
Tradd needs some of your old sampler equipment. I need it cheap, and I need it soon. I'm not interested in $1,000 break-beat mixers. I want shit cheap, old and good, just like my men. If anyone has any leads, or wants to give me some insight, send me an email. I don't know too much about this stuff, so I am open to whatever, but the less technologically advanced, probably the better. I also need your old and defective drum machines. As long as they make some sort of sound when I plug them in and start programming/banging away. Hook me up.

The only people givng me any tips are Le Tigre. The shit they used like 8 years ago is what I am calling "new technology" now. Yikes. Technology is s-o-o-o-o boring; I'd rather be outside pulling weeds.

8/30/04
Come out and see us play this week and next. We are pushing our hot little asses up and down the east coast again. Dates are listed here. We've got all 8 or us on board for most of the shows, and we've got a ton of merch we need to sell for drug money, so bring a loaded wallet.

Our newest release entitled "Covering the Track Marks" comes out Tuesday on Underadar. Features 6 songs and is well worth the $5 or whatever we charge your broke ass. Get it from the label or us or your pusher-man. Wondering why we seem to only put out e.p.s and not full-lengths anymore? Because our collective attention span won't allow us to record more than like 4 songs at a time. And we spend our recording advance on other shit, like brow waxes and manicures. Plus the Kid needs substantial reprieves from blowing all the time.

And we still have out the f-f-fresh Excavation 1995 - 1998 2xCD re-release. This shit is cheap and worth every penny -- 21 songs for $10. Get it right now here or here.

8/04/04
Reviews are running around for the Excavation 1995 - 1998 2xCD re-release. Daredevil.de has us on there as band of the day. Only it's been "band of the day" for a few days now. No complaints here. Click here to read it.

7/31/04
FUCKING FINALLY!!!! CREAM ABDUL BABAR releases are now available in Europe through Shellshock (UK), Sonic Rendezvous (Netherlands), Green Hell (Germany), & Conspiracy (Belgium). If you're a European, and would like to get our releases from one of your own kind, contact any of these fine distributors. Otherwise, go to our merch page, and get it straight from us. Thanks. Remember Euro-trashers, we don't like our president either. It's okay to like our band.

7/29/04
I haven't seen that shit-bag from Rainer Maria in town yet. Guess his piece-of-shit band is still on tour. But when I do, it's curtains for him. I'm talking about him getting pelted with ice and lit cigarette butts.

Paul Feldman keeps it real and brutal on his blog site. It's all about bashing BUSH, and for that, dear Paul, we love thee. http://spittlenfroth.blogspot.com/

7/24/04
RED ALERT!! RED ALERT!! If you play drums in that piece of shit emo band, Rainer Maria, consider yourself dead. You are a bitchy, whiny, piece-of-shit, rock-star, ass-clown with too much ego. Being in shitty, over-rated bands does not mean you can act like an asshole. Taking out angry band issues on your fans and various other people in a club is fucking LAME. Your attitude sucks, and so do you. Next time we're in NYC, we'll find your pussy ass, whip you, and spit on your grave.You are doomed, fag rocker. Mike Cream is asking for you by name. You suck.

Did you guys pick up our 2 disc Excavation 1995 - 1998 yet? Hurry up. We haven't got all day. And you certainly aren't getting any prettier.

7/8/04
Instead of touring malls across the country, we decided to "keep it real" and tour FL with our friends in Kylesa. This is happening as I write this, so come out and see us you douche holes. The dates are listed here.

Our out of print stuff has been re-released by the fine folks at Public Guilt. The title of the exhaustive monstrosity is EXCAVATION: 1995 - 1998 and includes a ton of songs - 21 total. Included is our first full-length, The Backwater of Masculine Ethics, singles, 7"s, live stuff and a remix by Larvae. This double-disc cd is cheap ($10 or less) so you need to get it ASAP. Trace our roots and find out how fast we used to be able to play before the drugs took over and the hangovers really started to kick in.

6/21/04
Highlights of last weekend:
About 10 Tallahassee bums came up to NYC to see Franz Ferdinand (twice). I know that sounds really retarded, but you're talking about people like Brent McNeal, Sandra Fishbaugh, and Danny Rosenhorse, so all bets are off, right? Anyways, shit was super fun, cuz them fools know how to hang. Saturday night, after seeing Eric Puestow play drums for Sunday Driver, we went over to see Lio do his thing at his Crashin' In party night at Rothko. Of course, we're all wasted, and Danny's getting all crazy. Next thing you know, Danny goes, "Hey dudes, hold my drink, i'm gonna go dance!" All of us sitting on the bench are looking at each other, thinking Danny was kidding. Next thing you know, he's gone. Then Eric's girlfriend Katie says something like "I can't remember the last time I heard anyone say that." We could not stop laughing. The beauty is that if you know Danny, his heart is black as midnight, cuz he sold his soul to metal when he was 14. And then there he goes dancing to the Rapture, or the Faint, or some other shit. True fucking colors. Sweet as pie!

6/08/04
Hey everybody. Welcome to the new site. We need pictures. Good live ones, please. Let us know if you have any. Check the photos page for insight. We'd also like any video footage you may have. We'd appreciate them. Get in touch with us, and we'll hook you up with trades.

5/17/04
I'm NOT FUCKING KIDDING. I need a fucking job. Email me, if you've got any job leads up here in the NYC area. Thank you very much.

I have to give a personal thanks to Pope John Paul from Asschapel for hooking me (and the whole band) up on our tour with them. John fucking rules. Thanks, dude.

Anyone out there read VICE magazine? Well, I do, and imagine my pleasant suprise when I'm reading the 100th issue, and find an article on a hesh-looking metal band. I'm looking at the picture for a second, thinking "shit, that one dude looks JUST like Gary from Hawgjaw." Well, duh, David, that's cuz it is Gary from Hawgjaw! I guess he's in Outlaw Order as well. There's a funny article and interview for the obnoxious fashionistas to read.That dude Gary is fucking cool. If anyone is down in New Orleans, tell him team cream say hello.

Our friend Kat has made a couple of movies that are really good. Cicadas feautures music by team cream. Her newest movie, Roberta Wells has a couple of screenings coming up:
2004 LadyFest Texas, Austin, TX, Saturday, May 29th, 2pm, Hideout Theater
2004 Dallas Video Festival, July 7th-11th
At least a couple of you assholes reading this would benefit by checking it out. Hit the link to find out more